The Kay in Kafka

“There was a robbery.  We are waiting for the police.  The train will be moving as soon as possible.” 

 The train was stopped at 96^th.  Engrossed in my book, I ignored the first announcement, I blocked out the second, finally I noticed passengers craning their necks, and filing off the train.  I turned to my neighbor and asked what was going on.  A robbery, he told me, but we’d be moving shortly.  I tried to go back to my book, but I couldn’t stop thinking about robbery and how unconscionable it is.  I have heard it said that all crime is a form of robbery.  Thieves steal possessions, a liar steals another’s right to the truth, a rapist steals a person’s dignity, security, and right to govern their own body, and so forth.  

More often than not brain injury isn't the result of a crime.  I most cases there is no culprit to blame, but brain injury is the worst possible kind of robbery.  Brain injury robs you of your memory, social skills, coordination, comprehension, and so much more.  Brain injury steals the very essence of your identity – what makes you you.  In one sense I am fortunate in the fact that I do have someone to blame.  There is no question in my mind that my accident was the drunk driver’s fault.  A man over twice the legal limit, so drunk he couldn’t stand hit a sober girl in the crosswalk – it seemed clear cut to me.  Not so to the legal system – the driver walked away with two days in jail for driving drunk and nothing for hitting a pedestrian.

I called this blog the Kay in Kafka chiefly because my life has a tendency towards the kafkaesque.  I have never felt more as if I were in a Kafka novel, as if I were K in the Trial than during the court case and lawsuit. I am a high-functioning TBI survivor; because my outward injuries healed quickly, and my verbal skills were not affected, I appeared to be “normal” relatively soon after the accident. But no matter how well-recovered a TBI survivors may appear, the high-stress litigious process takes its toll.  

My lawsuit ordeal ended four years after the accident.  Even then, in no way was I cognitively ready to handle it.  Because of this, the opposing side was able to use both my strengths and weaknesses against me, and my lawyers were powerless to stop them.  This is precisely why it is vital to choose a lawyer who specializes in and understands the legal ins and outs of brain injury.  These lawyers know how to coach survivors, and can protect them against being manipulated by opportunistic insurance companies, or chewed up and spit out by the legal system.  I wish that my parents had thought to hire one of these TBI lawyers.  Nothing can bring back what has been stolen, but there may be some recompense that can help rebuild your life.

Lost in thought, I sat on the train, while gawking passengers crowded around the victim.  After a few minutes there was another announcement:“Due to a robbery, there is no Brooklyn Bound B or C service.  For downtown service take the uptown train to….”

I felt badly for the victim, but at least nobody was hurt.  Shoving my book in my computer bag, I walked a few avenues to the 1 train, still contemplating the injustice of robbery in all its many forms....