Easy Breezy (Meeting People is Easy III)

It isn’t just about meeting people. Meeting people is easy. It’s about building lasting relationships.

We’ve been through the easy formulaic ways of starting conversations:

- Pay a compliment

- Make a comment

- Ask questions

- Keep it light

After you have established first contact things can get a little harder. It is often harder for survivors to pick up on signals and cues, it definitely is for me, but it is important to try. Don’t push too hard, suggest meeting up, or doing something. See if a few people in the group want to go out. If they can make it then fantastic, if they can’t, then no worries.

There is unquestionably such a thing as instant connections, but building lasting, sustainable relationships takes time. Brain injury often makes it harder to think on your feet and come up with off the cuff topics. Often survivors are focused on recovery and their entire lives have started to revolve around recovery. To keep things easy breezy the first few meetings and start building a relationship make a list of topics to talk about to give yourself ideas. The weather, TV shows, books, movies, animals, sports, or that sort of thing; just think about it a little before you meet up with your potential new friends. Just try not to let the conversation get too heavy or soul-searching. I have made the mistake of jumping into things too fast too many times. Let me tell you, deep life-and-death conversations are interesting, but don’t necessarily make for the best starter topics.

Easy breezy – you want to be able to relax and have fun with your new friends. Just let things flow naturally. The more people you talk to, the more practice you’ll have, and the easier it will become. Before you know it you’ll be a pro at initiating conversations and building relationships.