Connections I

Brain injury is the loneliest thing in the world. 

 

It’s no wonder why.  The list of deficits that can push people away itself endless.  But it’s more than that….

 

The survivor is the only one who truly can fight the brain injury battle.  Though doctors and therapists may help, family and friends may support, but the real fight is up to the survivor.  No one outside of the patient themselves can know what is going on.  Survivors may look perfectly normal and still constantly struggle with unseen obstacles.  This can lead outsiders to misunderstand, question, or even deny the problems.  Fighting the deficits takes all of your energy and convincing the doubters is even harder. 

 

Every day is a new battle.  Wave after wave of obstacles, deficits, trials and challenges crashes into you.  Perhaps most painful, some friends won’t be able to understand and will drop out of your life.  Do not let this discourage you.  You will make new friendships with people who do understand, can relate, and offer genuine support.  People who will love you for you. 

 

This is fine to say, however, because of aforementioned problems connecting with and relating to others it is unfortunately easier said than done. Overcoming trust issues and the profound sense of separation may seem like an insurmountable challenge.   However it is vital that you do just that.  It will take a little effort, but with guidance, suggestions, and hints it is possible. 

 

But if brain injury is so socially debilitating and isolating how exactly does one meet new people?  How does one get back in the swing of things post-injury? 

 

Humans are gregarious – we’re herd animals.  It isn’t emotionally, mentally, or physically healthy for us to live in isolation.  In many entries I talk about the benefits of community support, a strong social network, and the importance of reaching out to others.  Every word is true.  Strong social networks, community support and involvement and family love and encouragement make all the difference in improvement.

 

Not only does social interaction help survivors to improve, having more social interaction is part of the improvement.  It is our natural state to be part of a herd – it only follows that damage drives us towards isolation.  Like any other damaged area of the brain relearning the ins and outs of social interaction, takes practice and time to heal.  And just like any other part of rehabilitation we must start off slowly and ease back into things.

 

Because isolation and loneliness is such a huge problem for so many survivors I feel that it is an important issue to address.  In this next series of entries I will offer suggestions for building social skills, outline a plan for building up a strong social network, and finally offer ideas on places to go to meet new friends and reconnect with the community.