the Piper must be paid

Two hours of sleep is not enough for anyone ... for a TBI survivor you'd have to be a complete idiot to do that to yourself.  Yours truly: idiot in question.

Now the thing about pushing through and doing things like this to yourself is that there is a very curious progression.  When the alarm went off at 7:00 a.m. I woke up feeling quite refreshed.... this is the deceptive nature of naps.  I was almost giddy as I bounced out of bed, got ready, and hopped on the train to Queens.   Hard to recognize though it might be, this giddiness is the first stage of sleep deprivation....

A few hours later the false energy started to drain, like sand through an hourglass I clutched frantically at any remnants of vigor I had left, all to no avail.  I quickly excused myself and headed home, fighting to stay awake on the long train ride back.   The walk back from the station seemed to take ages, like a windup toy winding down, each step was slower than the last.  I didn't leave my apartment that night - I barely left my bed.   

The next day was a coin toss.  Even after a long nap and a full 10 hours of sleep, I could feel my body wavering on the verge of illness.  One wrong move and I would get sick.   I plodded through the day's motions half-there, but locked into the inflexible thinking that comes with fatigue I forced myself to meet my commitments.   Throughout service at St. Thomas I felt like a moth battering its wings against a window - I knew it was bad for my health to be there, but I couldn't help myself.  When J asked me to dinner at his parents' that night, I went.  It was a wonderful dinner, and delightful company, but even after my nap I was stretched too thin.  To be on the safe side I should have stayed home.

Inflexible thinking is strange - it is almost as if it takes away your free will and ability to make decisions.   I suppose when I get tired I am a zombie in more than appearance.

Thankfully I did make it through Sunday in one piece.  At the end of the evening J dropped me off at home and I showed him some massage techniques that you can use on yourself.  I demonstrated how to do ttouch, and also showed him some facial lymphatic massage techniques that I learned in volunteering with hospice care.  

The next morning I woke up still feeling a little overtaxed.  Then something compelled me to try the lymphatic massage on myself.  Miraculously this produced almost immediate results. While writing this I stumbled upon an article on lymphatic massage, and low and behold, some of its benefits are helping with fatigue, and boosting the immune system. I highly recommend trying lymphatic massage on your face when you are fatigued or overtaxed.  It is by no means a substitute for sleep, but if you are still worn out after a good night's sleep then trying this cannot hurt.   http://ezinearticles.com/?Lymphatic-Massage---The-Benefits&id=283527